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Open Question: What do you guys think of these paragraphs?
February 8th, 2010 by wood
I took these out of an essay that i wrote a while ago for english because i thought they were the best. I need your feedback on them and also, do you think that i need to put myself into the story or do you think that it could be totally descriptive. WHat would you suggest and what do you think? Thanks !!! There are some days on the beach when the sun seems to dance on the horizon. There are days when it reaches out to lick every strand of course sea grass with unfurled tongues of fire, before silently penetrating the depths of where ever it may furtively hide at night. Weaving through every flexible blade like a patchwork, it illuminates the earth in a shower of light and ignites every object lying on the beach in its golden flush. Yet, on that day, that radiant glow and vivid ruby and tangerine streaks that so often would caress the blue brow of the sky must have been sleeping, nestled and hidden in the soft gray fog and obscured in its cool hands. On that day, the light was sickly yellow and it diffused softly through the gray mists, a perfectly unassuming shade to provide backdrop for the shrouded light that just failed to enliven. Behind the sheer curtain, the muted sun was barely visible. While the jaundiced orb in the distance began to lower itself slowly and gradually, the back wing of night began to encroach upon the lifeless beach, an intimidating shroud coming to engulf the sea in its hooded shadows. SLuggishly, the sun sank lower, submerging into the horizon as the darkness of night came closer, untill finally, it had set; and the earth waited. Through the shadows and in ebony masses, ravening clouds began to appear amongst the sky.AMidst them, blinking stars of gold and silver materialized out of the eclipsing nighttime like glowing sores on the ceiling of the earth. Slowly, the moon climbed the damp heavens, the terraces of cloud, replacing the dead sun and rising to the top of the sky, a resplendent marble eye hovering over the reflecting pool below it. As its duplicate appeared in the serene water underneath, it twisted and forged a trail with its silvery lunar reflection, a glittering and bouncing path into the unknown. And within moments, the world was afire in the milky iridescent color shed upon it by the moon, while the inky waves rolled peacefully onto the pearly beach, the sand sparkling like a million fireflies. Looking at the ocean, it was as if one was looking into space- there was nothing beyond except blackness and lustrous globes of sterling and flaxen gold. As every one of these stars took its place in the heavens, and the moon its place above the world, the settled sounds of a night tucked in fell into place: the filtered whispers of sea grass yielding only to the call of the lone seagull circling the night sky; the restful ocean persisted, hypnotized by its divine captor above. Darkness and silence ruled everywhere only to be offset by the impression of the slapping of waves against rock, when it was the last thing on the night's mind. What do you think?Should i give it to the school magazine (after its finished)?? THANKS

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